It has been brought to my attention that I get holes in my socks faster then normal people get holes in their socks. My wife pointed that out to me recently because my socks had holes in them and, for some reason, she thinks that looks tacky.

I felt that my socks got holes in them no faster than other peoples socks so I began keeping track of how many holes I got in my socks over a period of time. I have come to the conclusion that I get holes in my socks faster than normal people get holes in their socks. I have about 12 pairs of socks, some of which I have purchases within they last month or so. About 6 of those pairs have holes in them.

So I went on a quest to determine what is causing the statistical abnormality. First, I closely examined all my shoes. Since I am a regular guy and only have 2 pairs of shoes that examination didn’t take very long. I could find in the shoes no cause for this premature holing of the socks.

Next I scrutinized my feet. They appear to be mostly normal and I couldn’t find any corns or warts or any other protrusions that could be causing the holes. My wife suggested that maybe, just maybe, the fact that I buy the cheapest socks available could be the problem.

I dismissed that suggestion immediately and will continue to search for the cause of this premature holing and will keep you, my reading public, posted on any progress in this investigation.

Quite the life I’ve carved out for myself.


3 Responses

  1. I was going to ask how much you were spending on socks. What if you just bought 2 pair of moderately priced socks? See how long they last you.

  2. City Slickers!!

  3. How about you just buy a new pair every six months or so and throw an old pair away?

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