Editors note: 
This article first appeared in the blog “Desert Blade” in 2008
(Yeah, that’s right, it’s a repeat!)

The way I look at it, there are two types of people – the ones who eat too much and the ones who don’t. We’re a lot like cars.

Except cars don’t get fat.

Consider it: When you go fill your car with gasoline does it say, “Hey, I know I’m full but could you please put a couple extra cans in the trunk”? Nope. And just why not? I mean, basically, cars and people use fuel the same way – the fuel goes in, it’s converted to energy, we move around a little bit and ultimately spew forth toxic waste. Heck, it’s just chemistry.

But suppose cars were more like people. Running down to the gas station even if their tanks are already topped off. Sneaking a little Coleman fuel while watching the NASCAR on TV. Popping a few cans of STP on the weekend. Would they chunk up? Would they say things like: “Wow, Impala really let herself go” or “Man, have you seen the size of the fenders on Escort lately?”

Oh sure, there would still be the Mercedes who would just have a few sips of bio-diesel then push themselves away from the pump. (I HATE cars like that!) And the Porsche who could fill up all the bloody time and never seem to get fat (“Geez, that Coupe sucks down fuel like a truck but still has great bumpers!”)

Me, I’m like a station wagon or a mini van. I know that the sports car crowd is not impressed but I can still say:
“Holy Cow! Did you see the size of that bus?!!?”


2 Responses

  1. Oh, this was a good one! You should repost some of Susan's too.

  2. Ah, man….you totally CRACK me up!!!! It's all so true.

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